On the campaign trail in Dunedin North with Victor Billot

Alliance Party blog

Posts Tagged ‘broadcasting

Shootout at the 60 second corral

with 12 comments

Tonight the smaller parties had their TV ads. I didn’t bother listening to the National and Labour ads last night because I have a low tolerance level for self-serving tripe. Also because I find the new make up job they have done on Helen terrifying, and I can’t stand it when she lies and claims Labour started Kiwibank when at the time of its introduction she basically laughed at it.

As for Key . . . well, the less said the better.

All the smaller parties were on tonight, jammed together in a one hour segment that was probably watched by about seven people. TVNZ should have been forced to distribute the ads throughout normal advertising times in regular programming. Isn’t that what they used to do?

One thing I noticed is that the non-parliamentary parties all seemed to have better ads than the main parties. Here is my review of the night. In the interests of fairness, I don’t review the Alliance Party ad – but I am pretty stoked with it.


Another advertising disaster for the Greens. Despite their copious cash and supposed platoons of hip inner city creative types, how do they manage to get it so wrong? 

The first seven seconds of their ad was the highly produced, branded and slick extract where the young girl is standing by the harbour. So far, so good. Trite, emotional, but nonetheless picking up votes.

Then suddenly everything grinds to a halt. We are inflicted with close up, wavering headshots of Green Party MPs staring into the camera with an air of desperation. Russell Norman wanders past in a bizarre camel-coloured suit with a karitane yellow tie, dragging a refuse bin across a lawn. More close up footage of Green Party teeth – dental care policies should be a priority here. Many pictures of trains. Keith Locke is the only one who comes across as vaguely convincing. A video game soundtrack bleeps in the background. Graphics and production poor. Teeth grindingly bad.


New Zealand First

Winston spends his allocation in a rambling monologue about the media and other shadowy forces working against him. However now that the National Party have foolishly cut him off, he has tacked left on economics. What were they thinking? Winston would cut a deal with anyone. This shameless phoney would cut a deal with Lucifer to keep in the game, and probably come out ahead in the transaction.

The immigrant bashing has disappeared, Winston probably realizing he needs all the friends he can get these days. 

The theme from “Exodus” plays in the background while Winston tries hard not to burst out laughing at his own outrageous chutzpah. 

The sad thing is that 5% of the population will swallow this codswallop and vote this Ageing Impresario back into Parliament.

2/10 for content, 8/10 for sheer nerve

Maori Party

Pita Sharples as Billy T. James. Probably the best soundtrack, sounds like Herbs jamming in Wairoa in 1983. Light on policy as always, lots of feel good rhetoric and all about what great things the new Maori capitalist class are doing. Not sure what this all means for the brothers stuck on the minimum wage but Pita is selling it good.

8/10 for feelgood reggae vibe, 1/10 for specifics


Impressively slick, although I preferred the old, round, cheery Rodney to the new slimmed down “power” Rodney. As predicted they go light on their 19th century economics and stick to crime and punishment. Dickens wrote novels about these type of people back in the day: mean, pinched, moralistic, in love with money.

The ad goes well until they kneecap themselves by wheeling out a ghastly vision from the past, a toothless, gibbering “Sir” Roger Douglas who looks like he has been pulled out of a retirement village and dosed up with cheap speed. He chews on his lips and raves on about the Government spending money (wasted on roads, schools and hospitals, no doubt). 

6/10 reduced to 3/10 after Mad Douglas appearance.

United Whatever.

High production values but Dunne AKA The White Rabbit is a wet. He pompously drones at the camera then the ad cuts to a random selection of vox pops of passersby saying whatever comes into their heads, which may or may not reflect United policy. Apparently they keep the major parties honest, which is a bold claim considering they have absolutely failed to do this whatsoever in their entire existence. Their logo resembles a defecating PacMan.

No rating, not worth effort.

Jim Anderton’s Jim Anderton Party.

Jim presents an updated version of the Mainland Cheese ad. He talks about how his experience has taught him a few things. Good things take time, over the years he’s picked up a few tips for you young folk. Once again, it’s all about Jim, everyone’s boring great uncle who wants to set you straight about how it all works. 

Jim really has a super opinion of himself, which is of course the only reason he doesn’t rejoin the Labour Party, because then there would be other egos to get in the way.

What will the Progressive Party do when Jim is no longer there to guide them? Probably wander off in sheep like fashion. Baaa! Baaa!


The Family Party

Probably the most well-produced ad (of course I’m not reviewing the Alliance ad here.) Super slick but absolutely bizarre. A heavy metal soundtrack features heavy looking dudes in leather jackets wandering around at night time in what looks like downtown Chicago. May attract 18 year old males but will terrify everyone else. They look like exactly the type of people they claim they want to lock up or convert to the Destiny Church or whatever wacko cult/pyramid selling scheme they subscribe to.

Remarkable that this hard right, fundamentalist, anti-youth culture organization has produced a Shihad video for their election address.

9/10 for presentation, 0/10 for appeal to their fellow fundamentalists.

Aotearoa Legalize Cannabis Party

Professional appeal from the mullet-coiffed leader Appleby to give them your protest vote, and a few wacky graphics showing a picture of a petrol station pumping hemp oil. How anyone could devote their energy in life to this is beyond me but a perfectly acceptable advertisement.



RAM go for the downhome appeal with a man in a paper-mache mask scaring children in a Four Square and a bluegrass soundtrack  that sounds like the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

Would be more convincing if I didn’t know that 90% of their candidates are revolutionaries masquerading as middle of the road reformists as part of some weird new strategy. Oh well.

RAM the LabNats is a slogan that needs some more work.


Workers Party

A relatively smooth presentation from New Zealand’s revolutionary communists who at least admit they are revolutionary communists.

However I am disappointed that the Workers Party seem to be suffering from a bashful approach to electioneering, and don’t get down to nitty gritty with a blow by blow video presentation of the final showdown between the proletariat and the boss class complete with armed militias, secret police and burning buildings. They seem to be going a little soft: could a compromise sell out be on the cards? Watch this space.


Democrats for Social Credit

Anodyne presentation, marks off for the ludicrous flying turkey that appears on all their advertising.


Written by Victor

October 11, 2008 at 9:51 am

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